Dear Tenille, I am so glad that you are able to share and acknowledge your struggles. That in itself is hopefully a huge step in moving forward. Mr Wright (your Grade 5 teacher) was my husband. In December he passed away from cancer. He was so proud of you. He knew you were made of good stuff and came from a strong family. So as you say, lean hard on those you love and I hope everything goes well. He'd be cheering you on as well. I look forward to your updates!
Sometimes carrying on means being carried. Girl, that is profound. Brought tears to my eyes. Take good care of yourself Tenille. Let people help carry you. It’s what has gotten me through 44 years of life. Sometimes we are carried, sometimes we do the carrying. It’s all a balancing act. Here’s to you sunshine!!
Dear Tenille, we have been wondering where you got to and I've often thought of dropping you a message...checking in. Sorry to hear of this valley in your journey but it's often most fertile in the valley, isn't it? Thank you for your transparency. We are honestly praying for you and trusting that the Lord will be with you as you put one foot in front of the other. The bravest souls aren't afraid to ask for and accept help in whatever form it comes 🧡 Love from Scotland xx
Dear Tenille, I am so glad that you are able to share and acknowledge your struggles. That in itself is hopefully a huge step in moving forward. Mr Wright (your Grade 5 teacher) was my husband. In December he passed away from cancer. He was so proud of you. He knew you were made of good stuff and came from a strong family. So as you say, lean hard on those you love and I hope everything goes well. He'd be cheering you on as well. I look forward to your updates!
Thanks for sharing Tenille, I hope you feel brave and courageous post-writing this.. and please know that you’re not alone. I’m a huge believer that the world needs more vulnerability, and you’re right, it’s your artist super-power. The timing of this post feels pretty divine for me and I wanted to share why.. I have found myself in this boat more times than I can count, chasing the “I’ll be happy whens” and as I’m sure you know, even when you “get there” most of the time we STILL aren’t happy. It’s never enough. Similar to you, I was also referred to as “sunshine” when I was young, and I’m currently navigating old parts of me too. People always thought I was fine when I wasn’t; I grew up with a special needs sibling who also ended up in a diabetic coma -and almost died- when I was 12. I never really processed that traumatic time until now. I still got straight A’s, performed well on stages, kept my shit together.. I was outwardly strong and great. But nobody asked me how I was really doing, how I was feeling, or how I needed to be supported.
I turned to an eating disorder and writing music to get me through my teenage years (along with some spirituality). Those things saved me. I went on to pursue my career as a singer-songwriter, and my music was always a cathartic place to process heartache. The only safe space for me, really, to feel any of my feelings. Long story short, healing is a journey - a lifelong one. I’ve been through various healing layers over the past few decades. I’ve done the therapy, I’ve been heartbroken, was bitten by a narcissist in the industry that almost destroyed me. I’ve overcome a lot of things - and yet I find myself here in a boat alongside you realizing the call to go deeper.
This afternoon, I had a strong insight that I need to write music about 12-year-old me. This has been in the back of my mind for a while now, but I think the time has finally come to stop writing just about romantic heartbreak.. and start writing about all of the different parts of me that need my love and tender embrace. I sat down with my guitar today and wrote about remembering a higher perspective. I’ve been having some old ED triggers lately, the critical thoughts in my mind have been LOUD.. I spent a few hours on it and made a worktape, later laughing to myself that it has Tenille Townes written all over it - in the best way. Right after that, I saw you posted this.. and I can’t help but feel some sort of synchronicity happening in a beautiful way. Hang in there my girl, it’s okay to not feel sunny every day or through every part of navigating our inner selves. This is work, this is messy, this is hard.. but this is real, relatable, and in moving through these inner struggles we truly offer so much of that healing energy to the world around us, too.
P.S. I can hear you on this track if you wanna ever re-work it or write on it with me let me know haha one Alberta girl to another. But in all seriousness, take time out for you as you sift through this transition. The little wins do matter, going to the BBQ’s, laughing again. But in my books, you majorly won because you asked for help, and you told the world about it which sheds the shame. Sending so much love.
Hey lady! I hope you're doing well. I joined substack just to follow you here. Was hoping you'd discuss more about your relationship with Zoloft. I've pushed away meds since my teens, and at almost 40 I’m reconsidering, just not sure, ya know. The wrestling continues.
Hi Tenille, I was at your Mississippi Studios show in Portland. I was homeless for a number of years and was very touched by your song Somebody’s Daughter which led me to the rest of your music. This post is beautifully written by the way.
I became a little concerned during your social media break, knowing also you had recently parted ways with your record label. I want you to know that you are cared for. The best therapist I ever had told me that many people take a lifetime doing their emotional work, so be very kind, gentle and patient with yourself.
Ours is a shamed based world where most people spread around their hurt with a thousand ego games, instead of the love and joy that gets buried in our hearts. This can be very difficult to navigate for sensitive people like yourself. Your depression, and I’ve been through several, may simply be a natural reaction to the world. Although I don’t know you well enough to be sure.
The only advice I can give is, to love yourself through thick and thin. And, to pay close attention to your emotional reactions as you go through your day as a way to understand yourself better.
No doubt it took a lot for you to say that. It takes courage to confide in what many are apprehensive to admit to. I should know as I am also one of those people. You are loved and accepted as you are. Take solace in your own words. 😌
Sweet Tenille… you are still sunshine but smart enough to know the clouds come. You are making your way through the other side and will be strong because of it. I had a similar shuffle in my 30s and accepted the medication and the helper it was. You will get through and your beautiful honesty and gorgeous soul will lead the way. Better people, deeper connections and a happy you are within reach. Just believe. I am here cheering you from afar. Xoxo
Thank you for your heart of sharing where you have been and where you are fighting to be. May you know the deep deep love of Jesus as you pray and he carries you. Meds are often the first step in the journey back to life- bath them
In prayer as you take them - that they will be part of your healing. Love from Grande Prairie!
Opening up about your mental health journey is not only brave but allows others to feel safe about talking about their experiences too. Good for you. Always make yourself a priority sweet Tennille. Keep inspiring darl’in.😊❤️🙏
Thank you so much for sharing all the above, Tenille. I can definitely relate. I was officially diagnosed with situational depression at age 30. I felt so similarly about taking medication but am ever so glad I did. It helped me so much. I’m medication free today, but am very aware of the signs should I need it again. There is something very sacred about digging deep and doing the hard work of understanding your self. So proud of you!!
Thank you for always being real and letting us meet you where you are as you have met so many of us in the same way with your music. Hugs 💞
Thanks for being so honest with us. You have a beautiful soul and I just want you to know you are loved and it’s okay to struggle as long as you don’t struggle alone. We are here for you
Oh my girl I’m so proud of your sharing and so sorry for this journey. I remember when I was given my first perscription - I felt like a failure - how could I not exercise, eat, pray etc. my way out of this?!?! 3 times I’ve been determined I could just go off - 3 times I’ve realized that’s not working and I’m right back on. But the truth is taking meds doesn’t make us a weaker person - it makes us a person who is ok asking for and taking help - which actually makes us a stronger person. I love you my sweet friend and I am sending prayers and hugs ❤️
Dear Tenille, I am so glad that you are able to share and acknowledge your struggles. That in itself is hopefully a huge step in moving forward. Mr Wright (your Grade 5 teacher) was my husband. In December he passed away from cancer. He was so proud of you. He knew you were made of good stuff and came from a strong family. So as you say, lean hard on those you love and I hope everything goes well. He'd be cheering you on as well. I look forward to your updates!
Sometimes carrying on means being carried. Girl, that is profound. Brought tears to my eyes. Take good care of yourself Tenille. Let people help carry you. It’s what has gotten me through 44 years of life. Sometimes we are carried, sometimes we do the carrying. It’s all a balancing act. Here’s to you sunshine!!
Dear Tenille, we have been wondering where you got to and I've often thought of dropping you a message...checking in. Sorry to hear of this valley in your journey but it's often most fertile in the valley, isn't it? Thank you for your transparency. We are honestly praying for you and trusting that the Lord will be with you as you put one foot in front of the other. The bravest souls aren't afraid to ask for and accept help in whatever form it comes 🧡 Love from Scotland xx
Dear Tenille, I am so glad that you are able to share and acknowledge your struggles. That in itself is hopefully a huge step in moving forward. Mr Wright (your Grade 5 teacher) was my husband. In December he passed away from cancer. He was so proud of you. He knew you were made of good stuff and came from a strong family. So as you say, lean hard on those you love and I hope everything goes well. He'd be cheering you on as well. I look forward to your updates!
This is so raw, real and vulnerable. You are helping so many others who are trying to find their sunshine. Please keep taking care of you 💛
Thanks for sharing Tenille, I hope you feel brave and courageous post-writing this.. and please know that you’re not alone. I’m a huge believer that the world needs more vulnerability, and you’re right, it’s your artist super-power. The timing of this post feels pretty divine for me and I wanted to share why.. I have found myself in this boat more times than I can count, chasing the “I’ll be happy whens” and as I’m sure you know, even when you “get there” most of the time we STILL aren’t happy. It’s never enough. Similar to you, I was also referred to as “sunshine” when I was young, and I’m currently navigating old parts of me too. People always thought I was fine when I wasn’t; I grew up with a special needs sibling who also ended up in a diabetic coma -and almost died- when I was 12. I never really processed that traumatic time until now. I still got straight A’s, performed well on stages, kept my shit together.. I was outwardly strong and great. But nobody asked me how I was really doing, how I was feeling, or how I needed to be supported.
I turned to an eating disorder and writing music to get me through my teenage years (along with some spirituality). Those things saved me. I went on to pursue my career as a singer-songwriter, and my music was always a cathartic place to process heartache. The only safe space for me, really, to feel any of my feelings. Long story short, healing is a journey - a lifelong one. I’ve been through various healing layers over the past few decades. I’ve done the therapy, I’ve been heartbroken, was bitten by a narcissist in the industry that almost destroyed me. I’ve overcome a lot of things - and yet I find myself here in a boat alongside you realizing the call to go deeper.
This afternoon, I had a strong insight that I need to write music about 12-year-old me. This has been in the back of my mind for a while now, but I think the time has finally come to stop writing just about romantic heartbreak.. and start writing about all of the different parts of me that need my love and tender embrace. I sat down with my guitar today and wrote about remembering a higher perspective. I’ve been having some old ED triggers lately, the critical thoughts in my mind have been LOUD.. I spent a few hours on it and made a worktape, later laughing to myself that it has Tenille Townes written all over it - in the best way. Right after that, I saw you posted this.. and I can’t help but feel some sort of synchronicity happening in a beautiful way. Hang in there my girl, it’s okay to not feel sunny every day or through every part of navigating our inner selves. This is work, this is messy, this is hard.. but this is real, relatable, and in moving through these inner struggles we truly offer so much of that healing energy to the world around us, too.
P.S. I can hear you on this track if you wanna ever re-work it or write on it with me let me know haha one Alberta girl to another. But in all seriousness, take time out for you as you sift through this transition. The little wins do matter, going to the BBQ’s, laughing again. But in my books, you majorly won because you asked for help, and you told the world about it which sheds the shame. Sending so much love.
Hey lady! I hope you're doing well. I joined substack just to follow you here. Was hoping you'd discuss more about your relationship with Zoloft. I've pushed away meds since my teens, and at almost 40 I’m reconsidering, just not sure, ya know. The wrestling continues.
Hi Tenille, I was at your Mississippi Studios show in Portland. I was homeless for a number of years and was very touched by your song Somebody’s Daughter which led me to the rest of your music. This post is beautifully written by the way.
I became a little concerned during your social media break, knowing also you had recently parted ways with your record label. I want you to know that you are cared for. The best therapist I ever had told me that many people take a lifetime doing their emotional work, so be very kind, gentle and patient with yourself.
Ours is a shamed based world where most people spread around their hurt with a thousand ego games, instead of the love and joy that gets buried in our hearts. This can be very difficult to navigate for sensitive people like yourself. Your depression, and I’ve been through several, may simply be a natural reaction to the world. Although I don’t know you well enough to be sure.
The only advice I can give is, to love yourself through thick and thin. And, to pay close attention to your emotional reactions as you go through your day as a way to understand yourself better.
With love,
Hobo John
No doubt it took a lot for you to say that. It takes courage to confide in what many are apprehensive to admit to. I should know as I am also one of those people. You are loved and accepted as you are. Take solace in your own words. 😌
Sweet Tenille… you are still sunshine but smart enough to know the clouds come. You are making your way through the other side and will be strong because of it. I had a similar shuffle in my 30s and accepted the medication and the helper it was. You will get through and your beautiful honesty and gorgeous soul will lead the way. Better people, deeper connections and a happy you are within reach. Just believe. I am here cheering you from afar. Xoxo
Thank you for your heart of sharing where you have been and where you are fighting to be. May you know the deep deep love of Jesus as you pray and he carries you. Meds are often the first step in the journey back to life- bath them
In prayer as you take them - that they will be part of your healing. Love from Grande Prairie!
Opening up about your mental health journey is not only brave but allows others to feel safe about talking about their experiences too. Good for you. Always make yourself a priority sweet Tennille. Keep inspiring darl’in.😊❤️🙏
Thank you so much for sharing all the above, Tenille. I can definitely relate. I was officially diagnosed with situational depression at age 30. I felt so similarly about taking medication but am ever so glad I did. It helped me so much. I’m medication free today, but am very aware of the signs should I need it again. There is something very sacred about digging deep and doing the hard work of understanding your self. So proud of you!!
Thank you for always being real and letting us meet you where you are as you have met so many of us in the same way with your music. Hugs 💞
Thanks for being so honest with us. You have a beautiful soul and I just want you to know you are loved and it’s okay to struggle as long as you don’t struggle alone. We are here for you
Oh my girl I’m so proud of your sharing and so sorry for this journey. I remember when I was given my first perscription - I felt like a failure - how could I not exercise, eat, pray etc. my way out of this?!?! 3 times I’ve been determined I could just go off - 3 times I’ve realized that’s not working and I’m right back on. But the truth is taking meds doesn’t make us a weaker person - it makes us a person who is ok asking for and taking help - which actually makes us a stronger person. I love you my sweet friend and I am sending prayers and hugs ❤️
You got this! 💪