What I've learned on my first 5/100 New Things...

The dust is settling in from the record label departure… I’d like to say it’s been entirely a freedom high these past couple weeks but that isn’t the whole truth. I’m noticing my default is to shrink my feelings, but talking about this news has just grown the entire container inside myself. In every direction. Both my faith and my fear feel bigger. I have felt lighter, I’ve been writing songs about letting go and new beginnings, I’ve heard myself laugh louder, I have reveled in the freedom to creatively express and share whatever I want to share and I have this comfort in the quiet depths of my being that this is the right decision. I have also panicked while on my way to a write, fixing my teary makeup at the red light while asking myself a thousand “what if it doesn’t work out”s a minute, and laid awake for hours at night feeling anxious about what next steps to take, daunted by the weight of making decisions on my own. What I didn’t expect to grow as much as it has, is this feeling that I’m not alone. So many of you have reached out, shared comments and notes of encouragement, and every ounce of this support has been fuel in my tank to keep putting one foot in front of the next. Thank you for being here.

This 100 new things challenge has become even more timely in shaking up my thoughts than I planned for it to be… 5 down and 95 more to go!

New Thing #1 : Starting a Substack

Already in awe of the sense of community I feel on here… your comments and messages and subscriptions have meant more than I can say. I’ve got notes in my phone started of posts I’m constantly working on and excited to keep sharing in here… it feels good to say more. I think I’ve learned that I can feel discouraged on socials by condensing my thoughts, trying to simplify my captions to keep people’s attention. I understand that in a world that’s scrolling faster than we ever have, it makes sense to keep it short and sweet, but I love that I don’t have to think about that on here!

New Thing #2: Longboarding

One of my neighbors noticed my post about my starting list of 100 new things, and kindly offered to lend me her longboard to try. She told me to be careful ha, and to find a flat parking lot to take it easy at first. I’ve been seeing all these videos of people almost floating on these boards, calling to me like an invitation to feel that easy freedom with the breeze blowing my hair and this confident stance just riding the motion. I think I felt drawn to trying a skateboard or longboard, because in my mind it seemed similar to wake surfing, which I really love. Here’s the thing: the water is a much softer place to land than the concrete. Ha. I was so proud of myself on this thing to start… I took it slow. Started on the grass, just getting my footing right. Watched a few more videos online and decided I was ready to try the church parking lot down the street from my house. I started pushing off slowly, then got more of my balance and was able to go farther. Even started to be able to turn it without stepping off. I was not graceful looking at all, but that’s part of the point of trying new things. I filmed this process, and I should have ended after I did a fairly long glide towards my phone with a pretty decent amount of beginner swagger, I’d say. But then this idea came into my mind. I glided out of camera frame (devastatingly, because this would have been awesome and hilarious to have rolled back) towards this hill. I felt so confident in my balance after 50 minutes riding this thing. In a split second I convinced myself that I was born ready for this hill and that I could really get some speed and feel that breeze in my hair. So I went for it. And the speed was serious. So serious that I thought I needed to tame it down a bit, by lifting one foot off to the ground. Next thing I knew I was flat as a pancake on the pavement, face first. I jumped up, and felt a little nauseous and walked quickly towards my truck. Noticed my forehead was scratched, along with both of the palms of my hands, and my nose was a bit tender, and more than that my lip was numb. Just one side of it ha. Pride was the most thing severely injured and I started laughing at myself on the drive home, feeling very thankful I was ok, and feeling stupid for not wearing a helmet. When one decides she is born ready for the hill, one should practice more than 50 minutes first and be wearing the right dare devil protective gear. I like the part of myself that is excited by the thrill of a hill. I’m learning how to harness that in the right ways. I think there’s also a lesson in getting up off the ground and dusting yourself off after the flat as a pancake on the pavement part too… sometimes that’s how life goes. You get back on the thing. With a helmet. Or you just move on ha! I’ve tried it one other time since, verrry cautiously. Staying clear of the hills for now ha.

New Thing #3: Root Beer Float

I’m not sure how I escaped trying this in my childhood. I think it’s because I was never a big pop person (or soda depending on where in the world you’re from ha)… the carbonation was never my thing. Still isn’t, really. And my love for ice cream is strong. I guess I just never thought of tainting the ice cream experience with root beer. But somebody suggested I add it to my list and I thought this was the perfect time to try. I looked up the best places to find one in Nashville and Bobbie’s Dairy Dip called to me. It did not disappoint. It felt old school in the best way, ordering at the window like you would at a county fair, and hearing your name called over the microphone when your order’s up. I sat down and tried the first bite and I couldn’t believe how good it was. Something about the fizzy combination with the ice cream… it was pretty magical. Makes sense that it’s a historically loved thing. I will definitely be having more root beer floats in my future. Lesson learned here was don’t knock it until you try it.

New Thing #4: Take Sam Hiking

Yesterday morning I woke up with the “just getting by” feeling. Nothing wrong with the day, but I was swinging a little low, and it honestly took a lot to get out the door to do this. I’m so glad I did. I’ve lived in Nashville for just over ten years, and I’ve heard about all these hiking spots and state parks and I’ve never been. Sam is getting slightly better on a leash… his default is to pull me like a water skier but we are working on it. We’ve been practicing excursions to Home Depot for a while now, and when I sat down with ideas for this list, I wanted to bring him with me on more adventures. I want to get him ready for the road someday when we get to touring on a bus. So I told him he could come hiking with me. He ran to the door and sat so excited like a kid who can’t sit still in their chair, and waited for the leash and the confirmation that he was in fact coming with me out the door. We drove for an hour to Harpeth River State Park and had the best day. It was three small trails that were perfect for Sam and I and our limited hiking experience ha. One was up the hill where we got to look out over the river and it was gorgeous! One brought us to a little water fall that wasn’t flowing at the moment because the water is so low. And one ended at this quiet little edge of the river. Sam hates a bath, isn’t much of an outdoorsman ha and I had a feeling he wouldn’t be a water guy, but since we’re on the train of trying new things, I stood with him in the river and tried to see if he might like to swim. I threw a few tennis balls and he inched while cringing, keeping as much of his body out of the water as possible to reach the ball ha. I was proud of him for giving it a try though. Even in his destain for the water, he was beaming all day. He was the happiest guy. It kind of makes me want to cry writing this because a dog just wants to be with you. They don’t need much. Just your time and your love. And that kind of companionship has honestly changed my whole life. It’s the greatest thing. I really don’t have words for it. I struggled when I first got Sam, because I truly love to work and am wired to stay focussed and not ever drift from the course in my mind. That comes with a lot of faults. One of those faults was debating wether I could keep Sam. For a while, when he was a puppy, it took a lot of my time and focus and I worried that it was a distraction from the goals in my life. But he’d look up at me and curl up beside me on the couch and it wrecked me in the best ways. I knew he was sent to me for a reason and there to stay. Sam has taught me slowly, how to let somebody in. I have a hard time doing that with humans ha. But he’s helped me more than he’ll ever know. We had the best day hiking. I learned that I love days with just him and I, and that I want to bring him more places with me. And I learned that getting your butt up and out of the house, to be outside, can do a lot of good for a heavy mind.

New Thing #5: Finish a Crossword Puzzle

I have romanticized the idea of sitting with morning tea and a newspaper and working on a crossword puzzle so I thought this would be a simple one to try on the list. I didn’t want to do this on a screen so I stopped by a gas station, asked for a newspaper and they told me to try Kroger. I didn’t know you can get newspapers for free on the way out of the grocery store, but you can! I went for The New York Times, feeling like that was the famous one to try. I got home feeling all excited, sat down and had an answer for about two things. Total ha. This was so hard!! I stared at the blank puzzle and felt like I might just give this one up. But then I had this novel idea. What if I ask for help ha. I’m not the best at asking for that in general, so I thought maybe this was the hidden lesson in new thing #5. I gave myself the rule that I wouldn’t google the answers or cheat, but that I could reach out to as many people as I needed to see if we could finish it together. I texted a few friends I haven’t talked to in a while, got answers from a couple cousins, an aunt, and a few of my band mates and it was pretty fun to see it come together word by word. And what a victory to get it done together! I think I’m going to keep doing these once in a while and keep them as a group assignment. Also now I know that “Deirdre” is a tragic heroine of Irish mythology.

Working on what’s next on my list and will keep you posted! This has really been a lot of fun already and we’re just getting started. From one wandering soul to another, I hope you know you’re loved as you are.

<3 T